we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
