yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
