He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
