They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
