just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
