Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
