Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
