Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
