yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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