How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
