What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
