Dual....:-)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
