He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
