i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
