that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
