Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize