I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
