So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
