He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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