k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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