At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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