Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
