youre lurking in front of me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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