More tranny stories later!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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