why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
