when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
