i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize