I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
