you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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