I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
