I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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