I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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