Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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