So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
