I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
