Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
