On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
