i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize