Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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