he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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