They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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