He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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