he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
