last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
