the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
last night I used snow as a chaser
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
