I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
