Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
