I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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