I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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