He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
