just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
