She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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