It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
