you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize