I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
