I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
