Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.

Fav 25 4030 1325
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(917): View more from New York City

you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

Fav 7 4934 1426
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(937): View more from Ohio

they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"

Fav 7 4604 1275
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

Fav 2 1722 747
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(773): View more from Illinois

It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

Fav 3 770 570
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(216): View more from Ohio

Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

Fav 1 670 436
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.

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(863): View more from Florida

ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.

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