me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
