oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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