Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
