Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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