first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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