.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
