So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
