So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
